A Call To Holiness
A Series through 1 Corinthians
Part 19 – ‘Til Death Do Us Part (7:7-16)
***Commentaries by David Prior, Leon Morris and Simon Kistemaker have contributed greatly to this outline***
I. Introduction
We live in a culture and a society that puts very little weight on commitment. Think about it. People switch jobs; professional athletes under binding contracts make demands for trades or hold out for more money. A lot of people lease their cars, rent their furniture, change their hair color and repaint their houses. We grow discontent with our current belongings rather quickly and often say phrases like, “it’s time for a change,” or, “I need some variety in my life.”
Unfortunately for us that mindset has spilled over into the realm of marriage, as well. Divorce is becoming more and more common. Divorce has become a common occurrence both in the
It’s clear that our society thinks marriage to be more of a pragmatic, temporary solution to loneliness than a committed, covenantal relationship. Proclamations of love seem to be confused with feelings of lust and promised commitment is forsaken at the onset of the next whim.
The Bible very clearly speaks about divorce, and it is always against it. In response to questioning by the Pharisees, Jesus said that it was because of hard heartedness that Moses allowed divorce. Divorce is never God’s plan. Since this is a series through 1 Corinthians and not a sermon on divorce, we will not be looking at all the Bible has to say concerning the subject. One thing, in particular, that I will not be discussing this morning is what is called the “exception clause” from Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. I have done quite a bit of research on it and I am willing and able to discuss it in another forum, but I will not be addressing it in today’s message.
Let’s take a look at what our passage says and then we will go through and look at it piece by piece.
1 Corinthians 7:7-16 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. (8) To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. (9) But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (10) To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (11) (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. (12) To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. (13) If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. (14) For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (15) But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. (16) For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
II. The Gifts: Marriage and Singleness (7:7-11)
Most, if not all, modern translations put verse 7 in the same paragraph as verse 6. My opinion is that it fits better with the verses that follow it so that is the way I’m going to preach it, but it is important to remember that 1 Corinthians was written as a letter with no paragraphs and no chapter or verse markings. So, it doesn’t really matter where you put it if you remember that.
A lot of people think that Paul is against marriage. However, contextually that is just not the case. He states that both marriage and singleness are gifts from God. This is something that I think most people don’t grasp. As much as I love marriage and am so excited for people when they get married, I also realize that singleness is a gift from God.
1 Corinthians 7:7-8 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. (8) To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.
When I took a class at EBC on the book of 1 Corinthians I was still the Youth Minister here at FCC. When I came across this passage in class I began praying that students and parents would be open to the possibility that God has gifted them for singleness. Parents put a lot of pressure on their children to marry. I would urge you to put pressure on your children to please God by being aware of the gifts that He has given them and seek to honor Him in all they do. If your child is gifted for singleness, and you urge them to get married, you are urging them to do something outside of what God has for them. Be careful of that!
Now, I pray that not just for the students and parents, but for everyone. I pray that those of you who are single will find joy in your singleness. I pray that you will use your singleness to honor and serve the Lord. Paul will revisit this idea of singleness later in this chapter and he will say that the single people are unencumbered by the cares and well being of a family and actually have more freedom to serve God than married people do. I’m thankful for the unmarried and the widows of FCC who are devoted to praying for the church, serving the church and availing themselves to God to do whatever it is He wants them to do.
1 Corinthians 7:9-11 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (10) To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (11) (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
Marriage is also a gift from God. A fabulous gift I might add! Have I mentioned how much I love being married? J It is important to note, however, that it is not marriage that is the gift, per se, just as it is not singleness that is the gift per se. The gift is the ability to be married or the ability to remain single. We need to learn to celebrate those gifts, and not value one over the other.
Notice that Paul’s reason for marriage is much like the one from our last passage. It’s better to marry than to burn with passion. Interestingly, the Greek does not have the prepositional phrase, “with passion.” It simply says it is better to marry than to burn. A lot of commentators have interpreted that to mean hell. But the context would seem to dictate that “with passion” is better than “in hell.”
Verse 10 contains an interesting parenthetical statement. He says, “Not I, but the Lord.” Probably at first glance that doesn’t seem like a big deal. That’s a good thing to say, right? I pray before every sermon that the words I preach would not be my words but God’s words. So, what’s the big deal? Well, at first nothing, but then in verse 12 he will say, “I, not the Lord.” That puts us on alert. What’s the deal with these two parenthetical statements? The basic answer is that when Paul says, “Not I, but the Lord” he means that he heard this directly from Jesus. When he says, “I, not the Lord” he means that he does not have any knowledge of Jesus addressing that particular issue. We must be careful not to think that Paul is inserting his own opinion into the pages of Scripture. All of Scripture is inspired by the Holy Spirit and is inerrant. Paul is not messing with the inspiration here by inserting his own opinion.
Paul’s charge to the married is not to get divorced. Period. There is no wavering here for Paul. He’s not interested in the situation. He doesn’t care what the circumstances are surrounding the event. He’s not interested in hearing the story, hearing the background, hearing the plight. He’s simply interested in the fact that believers should not get divorced. Period.
It is interesting to me that Paul flat out does not expect everyone to obey the commands of the Lord. He goes on to say what should happen if a believer does get divorced. They have two choices; singleness or reconciliation. That’s it. We learn from this that when a believer does get divorced he or she is not free to remarry. As long as there is a chance of reconciliation (meaning that the other spouse is still alive and still single) a divorced believer is not free to remarry.
It seems there was a specific issue that Paul had in mind when writing this. The fact that he addresses a woman seeking to divorce her husband and develops that idea, then throws in a “catch all” phrase like “husbands should not divorce his wife.” It’s almost as if it is an afterthought.
III. The Problem of “Mixed Marriage” (7:12-16)
1 Corinthians 7:12-16 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. (13) If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. (14) For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (15) But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. (16) For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
A sticky situation occurs in marriage when one spouse experiences regeneration. The reason that this presents a problem is very aptly illustrated by the following story of a man whose wife became a Christian.
When asked what he found so difficult about his wife’s newfound faith in Christ, he stressed two things: first, she was no longer the person with whom he had originally fallen in love an whom he had decided to marry; secondly, there was another Man about the house, to whom she was all the time referring her every decision and whom she chose to consult for his advice and instructions. He was no longer the boss in his own house: Jesus gave the orders and set the pace.
This is not always true, however. In fact, it seems that Paul does not expect to have the unbelieving spouse be discontent with the relationship. Notice that he addresses the believing spouse by saying if the unbeliever spouse is content remaining married than they need to stay married.
This shows us the tremendous value that Paul (and God) places on marriage. While believers are unequivocally commanded to only marry other believers (Paul will say later in this chapter that a widow is free to remarry in the Lord [7:39]) Paul commands that once you get into a marriage the fact that one partner is an unbeliever is not a reason to seek divorce.
Paul expects that the changed behavior of the believer should make it easier for the unbeliever to desire to remain married to them. They must divorce if this is the case.
1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
In many situations in the New Testament we see entire households getting saved. It always started with one person and the poured into the rest of the family. This does not always happen, which Paul will touch on later, but it seems that he expects that if the believing spouse treats their non-believing spouse with the attitude that should characterize a Christian there will be no reason for the unbeliever not to convert. Their willingness to remain with the believer shows some softness there.
This does not guarantee the salvation of the unbelieving spouse. The verb is passive in this sentence. It is literally saying “is being made” holy. Notice also that the being made holy is done by the spouse. Humans do not have the ability to make another person holy to the point that they are going to inherit the kingdom of heaven. The believing spouse has the ability to make holy the unbelieving spouse only to a certain extent.
However, it seems that is not true of the children. The verb is emphatic in regards to the children. They are holy. This supports the thought that there is an age of accountability. It does not give us an indication as to what the specific age is. It simply says that the children of a believing spouse are holy. This does not relieve the responsibility of parents and of the body of Christ to evangelize children. It needs to be done. Like I mentioned, we are not given the details of what that age is. I’m going to go on a limb and say that teenagers are not considered children in this sense.
1 Corinthians 7:15-16 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. (16) For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
This is the only allowance in Scripture for a believer to divorce. When the unbelieving partner is unwilling to stay with the believing partner it is okay for the believer to let it happen. The believer must NEVER initiate the process. Notice verse 15 says that the unbelieving partner is the one who initiates the process. In that case, let it be so.
This is also the only scenario in which a believer is free to remarry after a divorce. Paul says, “In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved.” This would indicate to us that the believer is free to remarry in this scenario (unlike the believer in verse 11).
The driving force behind the allowance for divorce in this instance is that God has called us to peace. Paul understood that an unbelieving spouse who was not content with their partners newfound faith was not going to be peaceful about it. There is a lot of angst and contentiousness towards believers in many situations. This is not a peaceful situation and God has called us to peace.
We must not think that peace is the over arching principle here. The tendency to believe that since there is not peace in your home you can divorce is false. The overarching principle in this entire passage is the strength and permanence of marriage.
There is a lot of discussion about verse 16. Is verse 16 an encouragement for the believing spouse to live in harmony with their unbelieving spouse or is it a statement of release for the believing spouse because they have no idea whether or not their spouse will be saved?
I lined up with the first line of reasoning originally. It seemed that Paul was saying that by living in peace with your unbelieving spouse who knows whether or not God will use that to bring them to salvation. However, after much reading and meditating, I have come to the conclusion that the latter is true. Contextually it seems that this statement is a release for the believer. “Who knows if you will be able to save them? God has called you to peace. Let them go.”
IV. Conclusion
Paul valued marriage. God deeply values marriage. The elders and I value marriage. I have not counseled any marriages in which one spouse became a believer after the wedding. So, I can say that in all the situations I have counseled I have never given my blessing on a divorce. Marriage is a covenantal relationship between two human beings that represent Christ’s relationship with His church.
I need to make something clear. Things that happen pre-salvation have no effect on the person post salvation. What I mean is that if you have divorce in your past and it happened before you knew Christ there is no reason for you to feel guilty. If you are in a marriage now God’s desire is that you remain in that marriage and be the best, most godly, husband or wife that you can be. God never had divorce in mind.
We would love to pray with you and counsel you if you need help in your marriage. Please see one of the elders.
